Go to work. Have children. Get married. Pick one career. Buy a house.
This is the typical value system that most people are feeling pressured to live in, without it, there appears to be a voice inside that says “you’re not successful”.
So what happens if you’re like so many that just aren’t satisfied with this status quo? What happens if you invest a massive chunk of your life into a specific lifestyle and wake up realizing you are completely unhappy?
Perhaps you realize you’ve only known yourself through the hats you wear as a parent/spouse/worker. That you have totally lost touch with who you are outside of that. Maybe a white picket fence and insurance coverage isn’t really as important to you as you thought. You’ve grown hungry for adventure and crave a different lifestyle for yourself and your family. Traditional views aren’t hacking it.
Oh yes, I have described what many refer to as “The Trap”… but don’t think this can’t happen with the opposite value system based on pure freedom.
Work. Make money. Have investments. Socialization & Status. Nice Car. No invested commitments with anyone. No sacrifice. No compromise. Do what you want, when you want.
What happens when you wake up and realize you’re lonely? That you have no real deep connections. When your friends grow, move on and find their mates. When there is no one to share everything you’ve worked for with. When the same old scenes get old and feel like distractions more than freedoms. You’ve totally lost connection with what it might look like to make room for more than your own experience. You’ve grown hungry to be really seen, known and loved on a deeper level. Life is lived on the surface.
Yep… we’ve all heard about that trap too.
The thing is, values aren’t right or wrong. Values are just a set of priorities we align with or we don’t.
No matter what you go for, whether it’s the above classic extremes or something in between, the most important thing to remember is that: no matter what life you choose, if it isn’t in alignment to your true value system, you’ll wake up unhappy and unfulfilled. The other important thing to remember: It’s yours to change and recreate.
Most people are actually living inside a set of values that aren’t really their own. They’ve been conditioned or adopted based on an external influence, whether it be parents, role models, tv stars or influencers. A lot of people think they know what their values are, yet they aren’t living in them.
It goes something like;
~ you say you value financial freedom, but you have not learned any financial literacy skills, you have no systems to ensure your growth to financial freedom and you spend more money on consumables than investments.
~ you say you value family & relationships, but all you do is work or take care of yourself, you get money to create financial freedom while missing out on essential time connecting with your kids and spouse.
~ you say you value health, but you don’t take care of things that impact your wellbeing. You don’t eat well, you don’t sleep well, you don’t feel well.
~ you say you value personal growth, but you won’t get support for your struggles, look at your shadow work or triggers, and shy away from anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Again, no value systems are right or wrong, they just are. It’s when we live outside of what really matter to us and we lie to ourselves about what we actually want is when things go wrong. When you say one thing but do another. My dear, it is that misalignment from your truth that causes the icky feeling!
You can usually tell what people actually value and prioritize by where they spend the majority of their time. That is more telling than any words or ideas we think we hold about what we value. When we look at where we actually spend this time, we can see what we are putting first and if it isn’t in what we say we value then we can decide to either make a change to align with our words or admit that what we’ve been saying isn’t honest and adjust.
Either way we acknowledge and have an opportunity to own our truth and live in these values without guilt. Where are you spending your time? Is it where you want to be? Is it fulfilling? Is it true to your internal guidance system and compass?
Outside of the lifestyle values, what about a deeper look into qualities? Truth, honesty, non-judgement, authenticity, sustainability, critical thinking, communication, passion, creativity, ethics, morals, connection?
You value truth and honesty? Do you offer this to others, do you search out the ways you are untruthful or hiding from yourself?
Non-judgment? How often are you mistaking discernment for being harsh, critical or judgmental? Do you think you’re better than others or do you see the difference between looking down on someone vs just realizing you’re on different paths.
Communication? Do you want to feel heard, seen and understood but have done zero work on how you could hear, see and understand those around you?
Ahhh, how fun it is to evaluate our own paradoxes and ideas of living life. My friends, at the end of the day, getting in touch with the seat of your own soul and moving in alignment with what you truly value is the answer to cultivating peace & really enjoying life.
If you’re sitting here and the wheels are turning, great! I love that. Whatever it is inside you that feels ready to shift, change and shake your way into the seat of your soul, I’m here for it.
I have a free gift for you if you’re curious about beginning to explore your personal values. It’s a 33 page journal all around discovering your own Inner Compass. Reply to this email and I’ll get you your copy!
Chao soul family.
Jaide
UPCOMING RETREATS & EVENTS:
Spring Equinox Retreat is now SOUL’D OUT!
If you are curious to join us next time, we have 2 Medicine Retreats coming up in July, 2025 featuring Kambo, Bufo & Wachuma! My dear friend Ben from Sacred Breath of Life will be traveling to Canada to offer us some special offerings during this time. You can jump on the waitlist by replying to this email. Only 11 spots for each retreat will be available. (July 9th-13th: Sherwood Park, AB. July 24th-27th: Vernon, B.C)
Private 1:1 Bufo Ceremonies are now available - please inquire directly. One space for March 2nd, 2025 is currently available. Ceremony includes post integration in an outdoor sauna & some fruit/tea. Served just outside Edmonton, AB.
The Temple just outside Edmonton.
IBOGA JOURNEY: Self Application Kambo Retreat: March 21,22,23rd, 2025. Treena has just returned from an epic journey learning and serving Kambo on a deeper level. She is thrilled to offer this retreat. Spots are limited, please contact her if you’re interested!
Next Iboga Retreats: Feb 28, Mar 1, 2 & April 18, 19, 20. Located in Calgary, AB.